Goals. We all have them. For some, we achieve them — just like that. For others, we find ourselves with the same excuses, pushing things back and feeling disappointed. Admittedly, I've always found myself in the latter. As I'm designing my own health journey through The Equation Project, I am no longer submitting myself to the shadows of excuses. I have health goals and I really want to meet them.
So yes, there's a strange comfort in making a plan, you know, in sitting down with a notebook, a clean Google Sheet, or a brand-new planner and convincing yourself that this time, it’s different. This time, the goals will stick.
For most of my life, I thought discipline was the answer to everything. Work harder. Sleep less. Push through. And with my perfectionism, along the way, I convinced myself that self-worth was a reward you earned, not something you already had. And within a blink of an eye, an explosion of burnout had combusted right in front of me.
Burnout has a way of rewiring the body. And when the hustle finally broke mine, I learned that goal-setting had to go beyond our need to control. We had to develop a greater sense of compassion in order to get ourselves there.
The Science of Self-Regulation
Neuroscientists call it cognitive reappraisal: the ability to reinterpret stress as something useful, rather than dangerous. It’s one of the most powerful ways our brain adapts to challenge. When we set a goal, our prefrontal cortex (responsible for logic and planning) and our limbic system (which governs emotion) start negotiating with each other.
That’s why willpower alone doesn’t work because it’s not just mental. It’s biological. Every time we pursue a goal, the brain measures effort against reward, energy against emotion. Dopamine, the neurotransmitter of anticipation, spikes when we start something, not when we finish it. That’s why beginnings feel euphoric and sustainable change feels hard.
But when we pair goals with self-compassion, something shifts. We quiet the threat response in the amygdala and activate regions linked to learning and growth instead.
In simple terms: kindness makes us more consistent.
The Myth of “Discipline”
I used to think self-discipline meant doing the hard thing no matter how I felt. Now, I think it means knowing why I feel what I feel, and designing my life around that understanding.
The workaholic part of me still whispers that rest is weakness, that softness is a distraction. But as I build The Equation Project, I’m learning that rest is not retreat, it’s integration. It’s the space between inhale and exhale, where new strength is formed.
Some mornings I wake up ready to run. Other days, it’s an achievement just to stretch, hydrate and move my body at all. And maybe that’s the point: not to dominate the day, but to meet it, honestly, whereever I'm at.
Reframing the Goal
When I first began brainstorming how I'd be tackling my health journey, I told myself I wanted to lose weight. But somewhere between the steps, the mindfulness and the meals, I realized what I really wanted was to feel safe in my own skin again.
The goal has changed: it was only a number. I wanted to incorporate a feeling. The moment my body and mind are finally on the same team. So my goals this season are less about outcomes, more about frameworks:
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Design the goal: Make it human. Start with how I want to feel.
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Design the movement: Move with curiosity, not punishment.
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Design the diet: Eat to repair, not restrict.
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Design the recovery: Sleep like it’s sacred.
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Design the reset: Forgive myself when I fall off track.
Each layer builds toward something deeper than performance: self-trust.
Meeting Yourself Where You Are
Progress isn’t linear. It's scribbles, a representation that is the whirlwind of life. Some days are full of momentum. Others are quiet, almost still. Neuroscience tells us that consistency builds neural efficiency, repetition strengthens pathways until they become second nature. But consistency mustn't be viewed as perfection. It’s the art of showing up, again and again, no matter how imperfectly.
If I’ve learned anything, it’s this: resilience isn’t built in the peak moments. We find it in the difficult moments. The mornings you choose to try again, even when your body aches or your heart feels heavy.
So as I set new goals, I remind myself that the point isn’t to win. It’s to witness, the small, invisible shifts that slowly rebuild the person I’m becoming. Because maybe the truest measure of progress isn’t how fast we get there, but how gently we carry ourselves along the way.
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This is a staple in Matt's Rituals.
Time for a face mask with the Matte Equation Quantum Mud Mask.
